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Will I Greet Him on Father's Day?
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Father's Day is celebrated every 3rd Sunday of June. It is during this day when we pay tribute to our fathers for all the good things they have done to us. While this year's Father's Day is fast approaching, one question keep on popping on my mind: Will I greet my own father on that special day?

He lives with his other family (his other wife and their adopted son) for some years now. We rarely see each other though he stays two towns away from us. Our means of communication is either through telephone calls or text messages. I last received a text message from him on my birthday (June 6) just to greet me. No more no less. He never asks anything about his grandsons, or on how we are doing, much more about my mom who lives with me and my family.

My relationship with him is erratic. I guess because we live in the same province where it is impossible not to see him with his other family. Maybe because I still love him not only because he is my father but because I had wonderful memories with him when I was still growing up. Maybe because I idolized him so much when I was still a child. Maybe because....

He is closer to my elder sister who stays in Manila. Oftentimes he would call her and sometimes visits her in her house and stays with her for a few days. It is from my sister that I learn most of the latest happenings about him. Maybe because she is more open-minded. I don't know. All I know is that I feel pain whenever I think of him. This is the reason why I never greeted him on any special occasion.

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posted by Amelyn R. Rafael,MD @ 7:16 AM  
  • At 10:46 AM, Blogger Dine said…

    hmmmm, i was in the same situation, but i still greeted him, no matter what. and when he got very sick, i bodily took him away from his 2nd family, had him hospitalized--he was at st luke's hosp for a few months, when he got better, he opted to be with the 2nd family, then got sick again, i took him in again...that was the cycle, until he died. no bitterness, that's life, and i had the chance to meet his 2nd family.

  • At 10:51 AM, Blogger ScroochChronicles said…

    Personally,I think that you should greet him. Think of it this way, it isn't your fault that any of this happened to you, your mom, your family. It was your dad's choice. Probably a choice so difficult to make but had to be made anyway. Never mind that your relationship with him is erratic. Never mind that he barely has a relationship with your kids. By greeting him and acknowledging his role in your life, you are performing your duty as his daughter. That should suffice.

  • At 4:37 PM, Blogger Amelyn R. Rafael,MD said…

    Thanks to both of you. Actually, dine, before he finally left us, he used to come and go. He would come when he's sick and as doctors, me and my husband will take care of him, taking turns to wake up at night to check on him, doing everything for him. He would leave again when he's well until finally he ceased to come. Yes, i have to let go of all this bitterness. Maybe time will heal me. Thanks again!

  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger raqgold said…

    Greeting him for father's day would be a healing process, too --

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Name: Amelyn R. Rafael,MD
Home: San Fabian, Pangasinan, Philippines
About Me: Family Physician, and Associate Professor (Clinical Anatomy and Medical Physiology)
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