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123s of Discipline: My Way
Saturday, September 22, 2007
I read from a copy of Family Magazine the other day, while on Ystilo salon, that spanking is part of disciplining the kids. It is even written on that article the things to be used in doing it.

Personally, I don't believe in inflicting pain to children just to discipline them. My way is the opposite - showing more love to my kids, letting them feel that they're loved. Spanking will only invite rebellion and hatred. Unless parents explain very well to their kids the reason why they do that, in a way the kids will understand, but which is not often the case.

When one of my kids did something wrong, I first ask him the truth, whether he did it or not. If "yes", then I talk to him in a nice way, make him understand his mistake, and letting him promise not to do it again. Before we end the conversation, I tell my kid that I love him and that I don't want him to go wrong. My husband does the same when he is the one around. We support each other when it comes to the kids. This method worked so far to both of our children.

Making the child understand his mistake is a big factor in this method. And I think that not only in discipline, but also in setting up rules, in avoiding kids' tantrums, conversation is a big factor.

More often than not, even before the conversation starts, the erring child admits to his mistake, even saying sorry and asking if we still love him after the wrong he had done. I think it is because we shower our kids with love that the fear of losing it makes them obey. Teachers and friends are amazed at how disciplined my kids are - in school, at home, and in public places. Well, its good to say that it's all because of love and not out of pain.

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posted by Amelyn R. Rafael,MD @ 6:28 AM  
  • At 4:17 PM, Blogger raqgold said…

    hi amy, we are the same; although sometimes when it is too much, my hand slips and they get a pat. but i always ended up apologizing and confirming that i love them; but that what i dont like is their bad behavior.

  • At 5:14 PM, Blogger Amelyn R. Rafael,MD said…

    We are just human, Raq, we run out of patience sometimes. Its good its just a pat, then saying sorry afterwards. I admit there were times I was about to do it,too. But when my kids see me about to explode, they say sorry even before I could do anything. :)

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Name: Amelyn R. Rafael,MD
Home: San Fabian, Pangasinan, Philippines
About Me: Family Physician, and Associate Professor (Clinical Anatomy and Medical Physiology)
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