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Feelings of Acceptance
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
One Sunday afternoon, my hubby told me that my dad called him up because of difficulty of breathing. He said that dad had it immediately after a short jog. Initially, of course, Randy don't know what to think. He has been dad's doctor for his hypertension and diabetes ever since we got married but dad was lost to follow up since he stopped coming home. It was a surprise for Randy to know that dad was still taking the same medicine he prescribed on his last visit. Randy requested for a chest x-ray, prescribed antibiotics for his cough, and asked him to visit us in our clinic.

The next morning, after bringing the kids to school, he again received a call from dad. He was already near our house but dad asked him to go back to Dagupan where he lives. Being the obedient child that he is, he obliged though patients are already waiting in his clinic. He had a short chat with dad over a cup of coffee and assured him that he'll be back the next day with his bag to examine him more thoroughly.

Of course I was surprised to know that he met with him, entered his house, and that he was going back. I was pressing him to tell me what the house look like, how dad looks like, how he is, who was with him when he visited, etc. But he said that I was going with him when he returns to dad's. I don't really know what to say or feel so I didn't answer. But honestly I was thinking about my feelings. What if there's somebody there aside from him when we visit? I was skeptical about going but Randy just laughed when asked if dad wants me to go with him.

I was still undecided but I know that I feel happy just thinking that I was gonna see him. In fact I even bought fruits for him. Maybe this is how it feels if a person finally accepted the situation.

Classes was canceled that Tuesday morning because of heavy rains. So instead of bringing the kids to school and visiting him afterward, the boys came along with us.

It was raining heavily. The maid opened the gate and instructed us to park inside. It is a big house with two cars in the parking space. Dad was in the front door waiting for us. He smiled when he saw the kids stepped out of the car.

My heart was pounding heavily. I hastily approached him, got his right hand and paid him respect. He looked at me and smiled, patted the boys and led us all to the receiving area. His adopted son was there and sat with us. Randy immediately examined him while I scanned the place sitting down.

Dad looked very different from when I last saw him months ago in Manila. He is skinny now. And his blood sugar is way too high. I instantly felt there is something really bad happening to him. After an explanation, he finally agreed to come with us in our clinic for more thorough examination. That was after we had a hearty breakfast with him and prepared by him.

After taking ECG, it saddened me to know that dad is suffering from myocardial infarction. This means that the artery supplying his heart is already blocked making his heart to malfunction. We advised hospitalization but he declined and just asked for medications instead. We advised him on the gravity of his condition and that he is free to call us anytime. He went home after taking his lunch with us.

I felt sorry to see him in this condition. Now I am praying that God will give him more days. To enjoy life with me and my family. To patch up whatever misunderstanding he had with mom and my sister, before it's too late. My feelings for him have not changed at all. I still love him despite his shortcomings. Now I'm sure that I have forgiven him.

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posted by Amelyn R. Rafael,MD @ 2:36 PM  
2 Comments:
  • At 1:13 AM, Anonymous Sexy Mom said…

    i totally understand how you feel. been in the same situation, but true, our feelings never change--we still love our them. treasure each moment, my dad has been gone 9 years now, and i still have fond memories.

     
  • At 8:36 AM, Blogger Amelyn R. Rafael,MD said…

    I'll see him again on Sunday, Dine. I hope his condition is better. I don't think I'm ready to loss him now.

     
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About Me

Name: Amelyn R. Rafael,MD
Home: San Fabian, Pangasinan, Philippines
About Me: Family Physician, and Associate Professor (Clinical Anatomy and Medical Physiology)
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