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Smart Kids
Saturday, June 28, 2008
It was Wednesday afternoon. Randy and I decided to meet in CSI City mall, a more convenient place for us to meet, instead of him fetching me in the medical school. It is faster that way, with less traffic because we will not be passing the downtown area.

When the kids learned that their Dad will see me in the mall, they called me up and asked permission to come. I insisted that they stay behind and just rest. But they insisted to go with their Dad.

When they approached the mall's parking area, the kids thought that they saw me walking in the lobby. They asked their Dad to drop them in the spot. Then Randy proceeded to look for a place to park.

The kids then walked towards the direction of the lady that they thought was me. After noticing that it was a stranger, it was too late to go back to the car. Their Dad was nowhere to find.

Being the kuya, Raymund thought of a way to find me. He felt that his brother was his responsibility as the younger one started to cry. He first thought of calling home to tell the maids where their exact location was. Because he left his cellphone at home, he asked the guard where to find a payphone. The instruction was so vague to him so he started to think for another way. The guard asked him who he was looking for and so he began to describe me. The guard told him that he saw a woman in violet pass by and went in the direction of the National Book Store. Since he knew I needed to buy some school supplies for both of them, he led his brother to the National Book Store. And it was there where they found me.

I was looking for a sketch pad when I heard the word "Mommy!" from somewhere near. I was very sure it was Raymund's voice. I turned around and saw my kids- Raymund wet with too much perspiration holding the hand of his brother. Ralph was crying and wrapped his arms around me immediately after he saw me.

I was then in a daze. I forgot everything on my list and just proceeded to pay what I was holding. Then I led them out of the book store into the parking area where their Dad was.

There is no blaming anybody. I consoled my kids and was just glad nothing bad happened to them. Yes, it was a bad experience for them but it was a learning experience.

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posted by Amelyn R. Rafael,MD @ 8:00 AM   4 comments
123s of Discipline: My Way
Saturday, September 22, 2007
I read from a copy of Family Magazine the other day, while on Ystilo salon, that spanking is part of disciplining the kids. It is even written on that article the things to be used in doing it.

Personally, I don't believe in inflicting pain to children just to discipline them. My way is the opposite - showing more love to my kids, letting them feel that they're loved. Spanking will only invite rebellion and hatred. Unless parents explain very well to their kids the reason why they do that, in a way the kids will understand, but which is not often the case.

When one of my kids did something wrong, I first ask him the truth, whether he did it or not. If "yes", then I talk to him in a nice way, make him understand his mistake, and letting him promise not to do it again. Before we end the conversation, I tell my kid that I love him and that I don't want him to go wrong. My husband does the same when he is the one around. We support each other when it comes to the kids. This method worked so far to both of our children.

Making the child understand his mistake is a big factor in this method. And I think that not only in discipline, but also in setting up rules, in avoiding kids' tantrums, conversation is a big factor.

More often than not, even before the conversation starts, the erring child admits to his mistake, even saying sorry and asking if we still love him after the wrong he had done. I think it is because we shower our kids with love that the fear of losing it makes them obey. Teachers and friends are amazed at how disciplined my kids are - in school, at home, and in public places. Well, its good to say that it's all because of love and not out of pain.

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posted by Amelyn R. Rafael,MD @ 6:28 AM   2 comments
Problem on Discipline
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I started teaching in the medical school 7 years ago when my first son turned two.It started out as a trial then it turned out to be passion. I found happiness in it that I told myself this is gonna be for the rest of my life. My husband, being supportive in my decisions, allowed me to take more time in teaching as I slowly deviated my attention from my medical practice. I only allow myself 3 hours per day in my clinic.

It is my first time this year to teach in the Nursing course. It is a three-hour lecture on Saturday mornings and a four-hour laboratory period on Saturday afternoons. I used to believe that I would not have difficulty in handling my students just like how I do in the medical course. But I was proven wrong - the younger ones are harder to discipline.

My number 1 problem is punctuality. While growing up ,I was trained by my Dad to be punctual wherever I go. He was like a military man knocking at my door every morning just so I won't be late for school. There was no "Filipino time" in our house. That practice sunk into my system and up till now I see to it that I always arrive way ahead of time.

I know that I should be flexible with my students. That I shouldn't be too strict with them regarding punctuality. But I feel the need to discipline them.

Lecture time is 8 AM. I asked everyone to be present by 8:15. It was already 8:30 and there were only 10 people around. Only 10 out of 46! This is my second Saturday since school opening and I didn't want to rant. Patience, I told myself. I started with the lecture and my students were coming one by one like raindrops.

I didn't want to be disturbed. I continued with my lecture as if I didn't notice them. The classroom was full by 9 AM. The quiz result after the lecture that morning was low. Before we ended I again warned them to be punctual next time.

It was my fourth Saturday and nothing has changed. I was forced to lock the door by 8:30. All those who arrived after this time were marked absent. Of course they know that this is going to happen because I told them beforehand.

Yes, I pity them but I also need to be firm. This is the only way I know I can discipline this class. They are a group of repeaters, shifters, and transferee s. The majority are repeaters. Sometimes I am tempted to say that the reason why they fail from their subjects is because they lack self-discipline. But of course, I never say that.

I hope I'm not being harsh to my students. I only want the best from them - that is, to be able to learn and do their best out of the hard-earned money coming from their parents. Repeating a subject is loss of time and money. What if they repeat again next time?

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posted by Amelyn R. Rafael,MD @ 7:25 AM   4 comments
About Me

Name: Amelyn R. Rafael,MD
Home: San Fabian, Pangasinan, Philippines
About Me: Family Physician, and Associate Professor (Clinical Anatomy and Medical Physiology)
See my complete profile
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